Friday Funny - The Kiss Resonator

The Chillicothe Daily Constitution
Chillicothe, Missouri

Wednesday, July 28, 1915

INVENTS KISS RESONATOR TO MANAGE GIRLS

Stoyestown, Pa., July 28. -- A kiss resonator -- that’s the invention of Joshua Conkling Reeves.

Joshua is the father of three perfectly kissable daughters. Men called on them sometimes. Joshua felt his parental responsibility, so he invented the resonator.

“It ketches and increases sound,” Joshua explained. “When there is any kissin’ going’ on in the parlor the sound floats thru this machine and I hear it all, but much louder. Jist commin kissin’ on the cheek or neck sounds like a B. & O. train going over Turkey Foot crossin’ and long huggin’ kisses are like the wind blowin’ in November. Good night kissin’ sounds like cannon shots.

“What I need now is a machine that will tell me what to do about it.”